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Health Newsflash

In a startling discovery made by combining the latest artificial intelligence technology and data mining of health news sources, it has been shown that being charged with possession of assets disproportionate with one’s known sources of income is the leading cause of high blood pressure and coronary problems in India. See here for an example.

A high-level parliamentary committee has been formed to investigate such distressing cases and is widely expected to recommend that CBI teams start having emergency medical training and carrying defibrillators, and offer the accused a stiff drink while reading them their rights which include, ‘You have the right to go to hospital in case jail is a bit too harsh for you.’