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FBPNN: Steve Bucknor to win Medal

Monday, January 7, 2008

Yesterday evening, the nation of India watched yet another display of Just In Time Harakiri™ from their cricket team. The fans’ anger, however, was partly directed at the game’s referees, whose actions a viewer mailed in and charitably described as mentally retarded. Indian authorities and fans have complained bitterly not only to the ICC, but also Human Rights Watch, SightSavers International, Help for the Deaf and Dumb, and about twenty-two million gods and goddesses. It’s quite clear that umpire Steve Bucknor is not winning the Bharat Ratna anytime soon.

Every cloud has a silver lining however, and today ought to find Steve Bucknor smiling from ear to ear. A team of scientists have nominated him for the most prestigious prize in mathematics, the FIELDS (Fatally Idiotic Exhibition of Lousy Decision Schema) Medal. Apparently Stevie compares favourably with comsic gamma rays in at least one respect – generating random numbers.

Picky Ronting (name changed to protect identity), who nominated Steve Bucknor and is clearly in awe of the guy, explained. “True random number generation is one of the hardest challenges in mathematics. The best hope we’ve had so far have been purely physical phenomena – the amplitude generation of cosmic rays, for example. But even they have problems – the folks over at the SETI project keep finding patterns even in these signals and tell us about alien communications. We took a string of decisions given by Steve Bucknor and had the SETI folks run it using their distributed computing network of 50,000 computers, and it turns out his decision-making ability is unique for its pure, unadulterated and utter randomness.”

In a world where reasonable accuracy is so easy, we must applaud Mr. Bucknor for risking his outstanding position for the sake of service to science. Let not a few raised eyebrows stop the randomly raised fingers.

The Fake But Possible News Network asserts that any remote similarity of the events reported to reality is purely coincidental.

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Don’t lower your standards

Thursday, January 3, 2008

It was disheartening to read of two girls being molested in Bombay on new year’s day. Far more shocking was to hear that the Police Commissioner of Mumbai was dismissive in his reaction and asked the media “not to blow this out of proportion”, because such things “can happen anywhere.”

There are just so many things wrong with this.

It is downright cowardice to imply that if we somehow lack the resources or motivation to fight crime, we should instead accept it. Especially a crime as degrading, as humiliating as sexual harassment – humiliating not only to the criminals but to the society at large – not long ago, Mumbai used to pride itself on being a “safe” city, one in which a lady could walk alone at night unafraid. And now, even if a couple of girls are walking in the company of men they know, they still aren’t safe. As a democratic society, we have laws against such behavior, and if the police aren’t competent enough to fight it, they just need to be better.

Actually, this wasn’t blown out of proportion enough. The reason this became visible was that media men happened to be at the scene and recorded the proceedings. I wonder how many other cases of harassment or molestation, or worse, happened that night that went by unnoticed because the victims were too scared, too uninfluential, or just too ignorant to report what happened. It’s not like we do not know that this is a problem – we just like to cover it up.

It’s hypocritical to say that this happens everywhere, so lets just put up with it. The Mumbai police are so proud of their offensive against drug abuse that these days they put up neon signs on intersections congratulating themselves for jailing X number of drug users. How come they could find the resources to fight drugs but somehow can’t find resources or even the will to start a fight against harassment? Behind drugs are the most powerful resources that organized crime has at its disposal, because drugs earn them money. Comparatively, street harassment ought to be much easier to combat.

Finally, is it that hard to take a stand and say “No, we do not accept this”? If so, that means we’ve just given up, or worse, sided with the perpetrators. That does nothing but encourage these people to behave in this way. That such a despicable act occurred in Mumbai is partly due to the “look-the-other-way” silence of a society that somehow condones such crimes. Is it surprising that the villians feel increasingly free to encroach upon their victims until their ethics and morals start to define of our society? We don’t want to let this continue, and part of that process is awareness, part of that process is to face that this indeed is a social disease that we’ve failed to cure.

We either work towards awareness and a cure, or the crimes get worse; and history holds our entire society responsible.

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Benazir Bhutto assassinated

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Pakistani leader was shot dead just before a suicide bomber blew himself up at an election rally she was holding in Rawalpindi.

I liked to think that she was working to restore sanity in Pakistan. Obviously, there were people who did not agree. But what is clear is that whatever she was doing, it was with the full knowledge that this could happen at any time. This wasn’t a totally unexpected happening; this wasn’t even the first time she has been attacked. Yet she continued her campaign fearlessly. Much to admire, respect and learn. Working in the face of death at any moment is the bravest of all states, one I can only imagine.

May her soul rest in peace. Although we can hope otherwise, it seems clear that peace will elude her country for a while.

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Taare Zameen Par

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Went and watched Aamir Khan’s brainchild today. Nothing that I can say will do it justice – so let me just say three things – everything about it was perfect, from dialogue to direction to end credits; it is easily the best movie I have ever seen; and lastly, at the end of the movie there was clapping throughout the theatre; and I can’t recall the last time I experienced that for a Hindi movie.

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Notes from a Small Island, by Bill Bryson

Sunday, December 16, 2007

One the one hand, I’d say Great Britain owes Bill Bryson a ton for this amazing book and travelogue across Britain. On the other, the book is so well written that it’s a toss up to say whether an actual trip would be more enjoyable.

Kidding, of course, but not too much. Bryson captures more than just the scenery or culture of Britain – having lived there for a long time, his writing captures the essence of the people, the history, and the stories that define the place.

The book is a commentary as Bryson traveled around Britain just before he was moving back to the USA. What I loved about the book is that it’s not merely a summary of the high points of Britain – Bryson writes about every situation he found himself in, whether good or bad, and makes it interesting using a wonderful sense of humour and his signature dry wit. One can’t help but appreciate and connect with a book in which the boring conversations on trains make you laugh as much as the descriptions of grand views and cathedrals make you daydream in wonder.

The personality of the writing (and writer) is charming as well. Self-deprecating at many occasions, and very human, the Bryson isn’t afraid to admit that his opinion about a particular county changed overnight – for three nights running. And some of the personal incidents he narrates are hilarious. Here’s a gem:

Eventually, a voice annouced that because of faults further up the line this train would terminate at Stockport, which elicited a general groan. At each station the voice apologized for the delay and announced anew that the train would terminate at Stockport. When at last we reached Stockport, ninety minutes late, I expected everyone to get off, but no-one moved, so neither did I. Only one passenger, a Japanese fellow, dutifully disembarked, then watched in dismay as the train proceeded on, without explanation and without him, to Manchester.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you – this book will make you laugh out loud. An absolutely delightful read.

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Doing the dishes in Indian politics

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The upper echelons of the Indian judiciary have long been active in public affairs. Recently, however, they realized that they may have gone a bit too far. This has sparked a lively debate on whether the Supreme Court of India has interfered too much or too little with socio-political affairs in India.

Indira Jaising has a very interesting column about the issue:

Let us remember that in the Supreme Court, the discussion is confined to a handful of Constitutional ‘experts’, making it very undemocratic. While this is acceptable for matters of legitimacy in the domain of the judiciary, it is not acceptable for larger social justice and policy issues.

While Justice A K Mathur and Justice Markandey Katju commented that there have to be limits to judicial activism, Justice S B Sinha retaliates the following day refusing to decide the issue whether women prisoners in jail are being denied their rights. Further, the high court retaliates by refusing to decide a petition relating to beggars, for being chastised by the Supreme Court in entertaining all petitions in public interest.

And while the judges fight it out, justice suffers.

The other side of this debate may be summarized by viewing the comments on the above article; however, being the usual Rediff comments, they are couched in language and attitude too abysmal to quote. Essentially, the Supreme court has the status of a hero with many people (including, to some extent, me) – with its popular stance on many issues such as reservations, ragging and human rights. And of course, all Indians complain that the legislature of this country does absolutely nothing. Scarce a week in session passes by without near violence in Parliament, and recent reports of of MPs slacking don’t help. There’s long been a feeling of tiredness with our elected representatives; and we can’t help but applaud when an institution with a semblance of matched power steps in firmly and seemingly on our behalf. The people of India would like someone, anyone, to fix their problems, while they focus on how much money they can make now that the Sensex has gone above the 20,000 mark; and the judiciary seems a not wholly inaccurate approximation to what we need.

Nevertheless, Ms. Jaising’s argument and the judiciary’s self-reproach must be taken seriously. The judiciary isn’t there to do the dishes and clean up Parliament’s mess. Multiple branches of government exist to provide checks and balances, not backups. The parliament being lousy isn’t enough reason to have the judiciary start making national policy.

The scary thing about democracy is we get the government that we deserve. While I’d like for someone, maybe even myself, to just go in and fix some glaring issues in this country, I wouldn’t trade it for living in a democracy. At the end of the day, it’s the voters who must do the hard work for progress. As they say, democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.

Filed in india, law, politics | | Comments (1)

A day in Melaka

Friday, December 7, 2007

I hit the road last weekend with a few friends to travel to Melaka for a couple of days. It’s been quite a while since I travelled anywhere just for the sake of travel – so even though it was a short trip, it was a good one.

The moment you cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, you somehow get a sense that life is more chaotic, more unpredictable, more spontaneous, more free. These guys at the Larkin bus terminal saw me with my camera and had enthusiastically asked me to capture the moment. At the time, I said I’d try and make it to the front page with the photograph :) but this will have to do.

Singapore being a small country, I really miss the endless landscapes one gets to see while traveling in India – the highways in Malaysia though offer ample amounts of the same.

Melaka has had very strong cultural influences over the years – both Islamic and European and it served as a very important port for a long time. This is reflected in a disproportionate number of buildings being architecturally aesthetic (I’m no critique, but they’re better than boxes).

St. Paul’s Church in Melaka has a very interesting history. The guy in the picture was doing an amazing job singing Knocking on Heaven’s Door – an appropriate song in more ways than one – the Church is at a high vantage point and overlooks the city.

There are some really good museums in the city – hosting art, literature and historical knowledge and artifacts. One of them, a naval museum, is inside a ship; unfortunately, it was closed for renovations when we were there.

The streets of Melaka can be very colourful and lively.

The river which runs through Melaka is a great place to enjoy a quiet evening at sunset.

Chinatown in Melaka was a really busy place on Saturday night.

The river I mentioned earlier runs throughout the city. There were lot of activities around the river on the weekend from fairs to kayaking to performances. There are also a number of houses along the river and there were families having a barbecues just outside.

Great place to go, even if only for a day.

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Ambitious analogy

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

From Corbin Simpsons essay in Wikipedia entitled “TINC“:

Wikipedia is socialist. Not Socialist, and certainly not Communist, but undeniably socialist. All of its content originates from the community. To deny this social aspect is to deny the entire philosophy of Wiki in its myriad forms. Our voices, no matter how small, quiet, and hopelessly opinionated they may be, nonetheless come together to form a single sound. Remember Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha? The river’s gentle roar comes from many quiet drops of water. In the same way, we can think of Wikipedia as being the Aum of the Internet.

Found it very interesting.

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Intelligent Design on Trial

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Recently saw this PBS production detailing the landmark Dover trial in which evolution and intelligent design battled each other. A really well-made documentary, and a fascinating story both for the human and legal interest.

Convincing a conservative judge appointed by George Bush to rule that Intelligent Design is not science and shouldn’t be taught in science classes is no mean task!

You can watch the thing online here.

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Lunch queue

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

So I’m in the queue at the Indian food stall in the canteen during lunchtime when this scenario unfolds. A couple of girls up ahead in the queue are chattering ecstatically, as girls are wont to do when a friend of theirs comes and stands right behind me. There was the usual wave of delightful glee and the torturous over-extending of the word “Hiiiiii” in chorus; I’m referring to the kind that must have convinced the apes to evolve away from humankind.

Then the inevtiable happened. The ladies up ahead made a tiny gesture of come-join-us with a perfectly matched roll of the eyes. People who invite other people behind the queue do so in complete confidence. Complete confidence that if someone’s caught and humiliated, it won’t be them. The response of the invitee, however, varies with queue-cutting skills and experience. Real experts can simply melt away from the back of the queue and smoothly appear in front in a process thats similar to gaseous diffusion and is still being examined by many scientists.

The dame behind me, however, after a hesitant glance left and right (I’ve no idea why, all the queue members were in front) shook her head no, and mouthed in a very low voice, “Log maarenge!” I was impressed. And wondered what other things she learned at her mother’s knee. For about twenty seconds.

So our hitherto courteous lady tells her friends surreptitiously in Hindi to just order an extra plate for her. A tactful gesture, assuming nobody figures out what she’s saying. Unfortunately, while this is Singapore with a dominant Chinese-speaking population, the queue is in front of a North Indian stall. All of this becomes irrelevant, however, as soon as this plan is given swift approval in the committee and the question of whats to be ordered crops up. At which point our heroine taps me on the shoulder, asks me to please keep her place in the queue (in English), and moves right up to the stall for the special preview of the chef’s recommendation. Returning, she helpfully translates terms like “chicken”, and “egg” into Hindi and shouts out her order to the co-conspirators in this subtle deception. An order which subsequently gets changed only twice as the lead implementers move up to the front.

By this time everyone in the queue is either trying to hide their smiles or their scorn, depending on how their pre-lunch class went. We’re Indians, queue-cutting is built into our DNA. It’s not that which worries us. It’s just that this particular damsel was saved from being in distress only because we’re way too civilized to helpfully point out glaring errors in queue etiquette. A concern about a fellow Indian who’s clueless while cutting a queue. A concern which only deepens as her two friends come down the queue with three plates of food, and suddenly, she seems to have an idea. Brightly she makes a double circular gesture with her hands and says, “Why don’t I come with you gals?” and walks away leaving behind some people with a palpable mix of emotions, ranging from homesickness to amusement.

I couldn’t hear the mutters of everyone in the queue, but I did hear someone who had to be a Star Wars fan say in a low voice, “Much to learn, she still has.”

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